Christianity is No Shield from Depression

by Kristi Lemley

Kristi Lemley is a minister, speaker, author, counselor, and licensed Clinical Social Worker. She is the founder of Living in the Light Ministries, an international ministry focused on helping people deal with daily life struggles, and heal from their past hurts by experiencing the freedom and truth of the Gospel. Her latest book and bible study is entitled Broken and Transformed: Moving beyond life’s difficult times.
For more information visit www.KristiLemley.com

If you have never been depressed, you might not understand how a person can take their own life. I have often “They had a beautiful family, they had everything going for them, they had it made.”However, when you are experiencing darkness so deep that you cannot see anything else, nothing else matters.

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Depression can be a very lonely battle. One of the main symptoms of depression is feeling alone which, in turn, causes people to isolate. I have seen marriages come unraveled because the depressed spouse has lost their passion, energy, sex drive, and any interest in activities they once enjoyed. Obviously, marriages are not the only part of the family that is impacted.

Are you or someone you love currently suffering from depression? Here are some symptoms to consider in yourself or loved ones:

• Feeling sad
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in appetite and/or sleep
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Feeling tired all the time
• Suicidal thoughts

If the majority of these symptoms describe you, you might be suffering from depression. The first thing I want you to know is that you are not alone. There is help that is ready and willing to meet you right where you are and join you on your journey to recover your life. Call your primary doctor for help, go to your minister at church, or call your insurance and find a Christian therapist in your area. If you don’t have insurance, call your community mental health clinic. Where ever you decide to seek treatment, you are not ALONE.

Sometimes people erroneously think that if someone is a Christian, they should not struggle with depression. I want to expose that myth. If you read a majority of the psalms that King David wrote, he experienced terrible depression, as did many other people in the Bible:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God (Psalm 42:5).

The myth that Christians cannot be depressed is one reason I believe that some people simply do not seek treatment. Do not be ashamed for what you are experiencing – find the courage to seek help, especially if you are thinking about ending your life. Some of the heroes of the Christian faith experienced the same feelings:

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors” (1 Kings 19:3-4).

In addition to professional help, I recommend a few practical suggestions you can do on a  daily basis to help alleviate your symptoms:

• Exercise
• Watch a comedy
• Use positive self-talk
• Tackle one thing at a time
• Journal your feelings
• Stay connected with friends and family
• Hug someone
• Take a bubble bath or do something nice for yourself
• Take one day at a time.
• Read and quote scriptures- for example:

...be content with what  you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I                            forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid” (Hebrews 13:5-6).

I can do all this through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).

If you have not experienced depression, I want to encourage you to reach out to someone if you see them struggling or hurting. I believe simple acts of kindness keep us compassionate and help us to begin to understand how depression can affect our friends and family. Depression does not discriminate based on color, race, gender, or social class. It is not something to fear in other people, but an opportunity to reach out and let them know they are not alone.  

Those Glittering Tears

by Shannon Perry

As I stood in aisle three of the local Hobby Lobby, I could hardly contain myself.  While shoppers briskly passed me humming tunes of Christmas joy, I stood among the Christmas trim crying my eyes out.  "Shannon, get it together" I thought.  How could anyone be so sad in the middle of all this joy?  Christmas is "the most wonderful time of the year" after all.  This year, I had volunteered to get the Christmas flowers and decorate my Grandparents’ graves.  My maternal and paternal grandparents are buried in a large cemetery within yards of one another.   We drive four hours from home each year to place Christmas flowers and a special ornament on their tombstones.  Christmas was always a very special time with them and I still recall amazing memories. 

As "I'll Be Home for Christmas" streamed through the store's speakers, I wiped the tears from my face.  With each stem of flowers I chose on aisle three, I remembered the wonderful times I shared with my Grandparents.  I also remembered how much I miss them.  I tried desperately to fight the tears, then gave up.  So what if someone sees me crying?  I am sure they could relate to missing someone at this time of year.  The clerk who helped me with my purchases blew my cover when she asked, "Are you alright?"  I thought that was odd, so I smiled a sheepish smile and answered, "Yes."  I looked in the mirror when I got to my car thinking my cashier might be prophetic.  How did she know I had been crying?  I quickly discovered the answer.  I'd left a trail of glitter on my face from wiping my tears after holding flowers full of glitter-filled leaves.   It looked like a snow globe had exploded on my head.  I laughed out loud and found it comforting that even when I feel sad, there was still a joy that could not be taken from me.

Many things can bring about difficult emotions during the holidays.  Some of these "triggers" include unresolved guilt, past losses, anticipating a significant loss, disappointment with a current situation and the contrast of the image of the holidays with the reality of our lives.  Although these are very real issues and must be addressed accordingly, we are not helpless.  The greatest gift was given one Christmas night over two thousand years ago to remind us that we can survive, and even thrive, in the most difficult of circumstances.  We have a Comforter who understands our weaknesses and He promises to help us each moment.  His name is Jesus.

Many of the holiday "blues" we experience come as a result of how we think about our circumstances-- past, present and future.  The mind is the battlefield, and the enemy of our soul knows which dagger to throw and when.  For many of us, it is during the holiday season.  Not only are we more stressed as we face crowds and financial burdens, we see the "ideal" Christmas on television that reinforces how much we have missed the mark in our own lives. 

A very common "trigger" for the holiday blues is the grief of past losses or the anticipation of a significant loss.  This is a very real experience and we must treat it as such.  From my many years of counseling, I learned that when people are willing to face the grief and deal with it constructively, the agonizing pain can subside.  When dealing with grief from a loss during the holidays, it is helpful to remember the following:

    -It is ok to cry.  Tears are a language that God understands.  He understood mine in aisle three of Hobby Lobby.

    -Do not try to over exert yourself during this time.  Set reasonable expectations for what you will do and allow yourself to receive as well as give.

    -While you treasure and respect the old traditions, create one new tradition for your holiday.  This often makes the transition easier and there is less guilt over moving from standing traditions too quickly.

    -Remember that Christmas is only one day out of the year.  It does not determine the rest of your life. Jesus does.

    -Do one thing that you really enjoy. Get a new haircut, take a bubble bath, read a book you have been longing to read.

    -Talk to one person that you feel safe with and let them know how much you value your relationship with them.  If you cannot think of one person, allow that to be a new goal for you in the coming year.    Ask God to bring you the friend He has chosen just for you.

If you or someone you know is struggling beyond the blues into the grip of depression, it is important to seek help immediately.  Depression left untreated is not only unhealthy, it is dangerous.  Recently, a dear friend of mine lost her daughter in a way most parents can never fathom.  She knew her daughter was upset, but did not understand many of the underlying issues.  In one dark moment, her daughter listened to the lies in her own mind and she ended her life abruptly.  If someone you know mentions "wanting to die," take it very seriously.  One can never be too careful and it is best to err on the side of caution.  Should you hear someone say this, inform their family or law enforcement.  Make someone aware that you are concerned.  If you have feelings of not wanting to live, seek out immediate attention from others.  They DO care and they want to help.  You are not alone in this battle.  Not only are there others who care, your Creator has plans to "prosper you and not to harm you."  He reminds us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," and that "we CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens us." 

Do not allow the lies of your emotions to rule your holiday season this year.  Ask God to help you in the areas that are difficult.  Pray that your expectations are only those that He would have you hold.  Keep the focus on the One who came as a baby that precious Christmas night to give His life just for YOU.  He had YOU on His mind even then, and He has never forgotten you. 

Allow the giver of all good gifts to redefine your holidays this year.   He gave the most celebrated gift in history. Accept it and know that His presence in your life is very real.  He sees every tear that falls.  Even the ones that glitter.

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Shannon Perry is a speaker/singer whose new If The Shoe Fits women's conferences combine her teaching prowess with her musical talent.  Perry's new music CD entitled The Real Thing (produced by Lifeway writer/producer Paul Marino) features songs specifically written to fit in with the theme of the conferences.  Perry wrote the bulk of the original presentation in hospital waiting rooms while her husband was undergoing cancer treatment.  Perry earned her Master's Degree in Education with an emphasis in counseling and taught in the public school system for over fourteen years before entering into full-time ministry.  She has previously-released music projects with both Daywind and Benson Records which garnered radio airplay on the national Christian charts.  She has performed with the Houston Symphony and has even appeared at Carnegie Hall.  She has been a featured soloist at the J&J Music Conferences in Houston, Texas, and led praise and worship at numerous women's conferences and for the national Lifeway conferences held annually in New Mexico and North Carolina. For more information, visit www.ShannonPerry.com